Dari TranungKite

Portal ‘Star on-line’ pada 4hb September memaparkan berita bahawa 35% daripada guru-guru yang ditugaskan mengajar Sains dan Matematik dalam Bahasa Inggeris tidak mahir menguasai bahasa tersebut.

Salah siapa?

Saya tidak berminat untuk menuding jari kepada mana-mana pihak. Sebaliknya, saya ingin mengambil kesempatan ini untuk membantu guru-guru tersebut dalam usaha mereka menguasai Bahasa Inggeris.

Ada yang mengatakan bahawa Bahasa Inggeris atau English adalah bahasa yang susah untuk dipelajarai. Saya sangkal pendapat itu. Bahkan ianya mudah. Dan amat menyeronokkan.

****
I disagree

on learning English, that is it being difficult  learning because it is so easy especially for the Malays. All you need to do is remember a few simple formulae

come on now, don’t roll-up your eyes on me. I’m as serious as I can be

learning English is fun in fact, it can even be funny  just don’t take it too seriously

don’t think so?
that learning English is fun?

okay, to whom shall I prove to?
or is it to who?

oh dear me
what if I get it wrong?

should it be to who?
or should it be to whom?

oh well, we’ll leave that for later

let’s try pronunciation, that means saying the words by rolling your tongue
just so

and take note, too
of the spellings

ready?

THE FIRST RULE of English Words Pronunciation:

if the second alphabet in the English word  is U

make it sound like you spelled it with an A
Malay style, that is.
here we go

[ bunyikan seperti dalam ejaan Bahasa Malaysia ]

R – U – N < RAN > [macam RAN]
B – U – N < BAN >
F – U – N < FAN >
S – U – N < SAN >
the same formula follows
in that the second alphabet in the word is U

even if it is a four-letter word and not a three letter-word, that is

make it sound like you spelled it with an A
Malay style, that is.

B – U – M – P < BAMP >
J – U – M – P < JAMP >
L – U – M – P < LAMP >

see
did I not say
it is easy?

EXCUSE ME?
what four-letter word
did your mind betray?

that is one word in my class you simply cannot say

I DON’T CARE
English style,
or Malay

NOW
for RULE # 2

stay with me, you…
AND WIPE THAT SMILE OF YOUR FACE!

IT IS NOT FUNNY!
I don’t care what I said earlier
IT IS STILL NOT FUNNY!

THANK YOU!

RULE-NUMBER-TWO!

if the second alphabet in the English word is A

make it sound like you spelled it with an E
Malay style, that is.

Ready?

C – A – M – P < KEMP >
L – A – M – P < LEMP >
D – A – M – P < DEMP >
jolly good, as the English would say
now
RULE # 3
if the second alphabet in the English word is O

make it sound just like you spelled it
yes, with an O
but first
change the first alphabet of that word to K
Malay style, that is

if the first alphabet of the English word is C
Ready?

C – O – M – B < KOMB >
C – O – N – E < KON >
However

if the first alphabet of the English word is B

keep that same alphabet as is

like this

B – O – M – B < BOMB >

now
take a deep breath
you are doing
GREAT

a quiz on your vocabulary

what is another word in English for GREAT

correct, correct, correct

another word for GREAT is
GOOD

yes,
you say it
GUD
Malay style, that is

hey, wait a minute!

the second alphabet in that word ‘good’  Is O

should we not say it with an A
Malay style, that is?

remember RULE # 3…

and therefore  it should be GAD
shouldn’t it?

but please don’t say
GAD
Malay style to the Americans, though

they will think you are referring to
GOD
American style, that is.

well done, folks.
we have done GAD today
We will continue our lesson
the next time we meet

what?
why next time
you ask?

because I say so
that is why

not fair
you say ?

so sue me
see if I care

not funny
you say?

who said learning English is funny?

no fun,
you say?

who said learning English is fun?

boy,
you Malaysian are so teruk everything you do must have fun
if no fun, sure don’t want to do one

but life is serious, you know

so until we meet in the next episode of
‘Main’ Your Language

GUD NAIT, you
[ with thanks to George Carlin ]
who is ded now…

you don’t know meaning of ded?

like when you die one
you ded la.

Ps: a version of this musing was posted a month ago in the forum section.